How to Know If You’re Ready for a Serious Relationship This Fall
Alleana • September 1, 2025
Learn how to recognize emotional readiness, spot green vs. red flags, and approach relationships with intention this fall.

As the weather shifts and the days shorten, many people find themselves craving closeness. Over the years, pop culture coined the term “cuffing season” to describe this fall-to-winter stretch where people often seek committed relationships rather than casual dating. But here’s the truth, wanting someone to cuddle with isn’t the same as being ready for a serious relationship.
So how do you know if you’re truly ready? Let’s break it down.
Signs You’re Emotionally Available
Being emotionally available isn’t just about wanting love, it’s about being open to give and receive it in a healthy way.
Think of emotional availability like a home: is your door locked tight, barely cracked open, or open wide enough to let someone step in?
You’ve made peace with your past. You don’t need to have it all figured out (who does?), but you’ve processed heartbreak enough that you’re not comparing every new person to your ex.
You can express your needs. Instead of hoping someone just “gets” you, you’re willing to say, “I feel loved when…” or “What I need is…”
You manage conflict with curiosity, not combat. Instead of shutting down or exploding, you can pause, breathe, and engage in problem-solving.
Dr. Brené Brown once said, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known.” If you’re willing to be vulnerable, to risk being truly seen, you’re likely more ready than you think.
Green vs. Red Flags in Dating
When it comes to relationships, chemistry sparks the flame, but compatibility keeps it burning.
Green Flags
- They follow through on what they say. (Consistency vs empty promises.)
- You feel safe sharing your thoughts, even the messy ones.
- They respect your boundaries, whether it’s about time, intimacy, or personal values.
Red Flags
- Hot-and-cold communication: one day they’re all in, the next you’re left guessing.
- They dismiss your feelings or make you feel “too sensitive.”
- Their lifestyle and values don’t align with what you know you need long-term.
A recent Pew Research study found that 47% of singles say finding someone who shares their values is more important than finding someone attractive. That’s a powerful reminder: looks may draw you in, but shared values determine whether the relationship will last.
Self-Reflection Questions Before Committing
If you’re wondering whether you’re ready for something serious, try journaling on these prompts before you dive in:
- Do I want a relationship because I’m lonely, or because I’m ready to share my life with someone?
- Am I clear on my non-negotiables (values, lifestyle, future goals)?
- Can I accept that love won’t be perfect, but still worth the work?
- Am I willing to invest time, effort, and patience,not just passion?
Your answers don’t need to be polished. What matters is honesty with yourself.
Cuffing Season… With Intention
Yes, cuffing season is real, and yes, the pull for connection is strong. But instead of letting the season choose for you, you get to choose wisely.
It’s easy to get swept up in the coziness of fall activities, pumpkin patches, football games, weekend getaways, but the deeper question is: Do I see this person in my life past the season?
That’s the heart of it: a serious relationship isn’t about surviving the cold months, it’s about building something that can bloom in spring.
Final Thoughts
If you find yourself longing for love this September, lean into that desire. But also pause. Reflect. Ask yourself the hard but necessary questions.
Because when you step into a relationship with self-awareness and clarity, you’re not just cuffing for the season, you’re opening the door to something deeper, lasting, and far more meaningful.

You've got goals you want to achieve but lately, you don't seem to be moving any closer to success. Whether you've experienced burnout before or not, it's something that's sitting heavily on the back of your mind. It's easy to feel like everyone around you is a powerhouse of productivity, yet you're sitting stagnant when it comes to achieving your goals. The comparison trap only makes things worse. You scroll through social media and see people celebrating their wins while you wonder what happened to your motivation. That spark that once drove you forward now feels like a distant memory. Your to-do list keeps growing longer, not shorter. Tasks that seemed manageable before now feel overwhelming. You find yourself procrastinating more, perhaps losing hours to mindless activities that offer temporary escape but leave you feeling guilty afterward. Sleep doesn't come easily anymore. Your mind races with thoughts of what you should be doing instead of resting. And when morning comes, that heavy feeling in your chest returns as you face another day of trying to push forward when your energy reserves are running on empty. But there is a way through this fog, a path forward that can help you reconnect with your goals without burning yourself out in the process. If you want to achieve goals without burnout this year, follow these 3 simple steps to find the success you’re craving. Setting Actionable Goals When it comes to setting goals properly, whether personal or professional, there is one part that cannot be skipped, how doable that goal is. If you’re setting a goal that isn’t actually achievable, you’ll be on the path to failure from the start. There’s a system people like to use for setting clear, actionable goals called SMART goals. The letters stand for: Specific: Define exactly what you want to achieve. Measurable: What does success look like for this goal? How can you track that you’re getting closer to your goal? Achievable: While the idea of “dreaming big” sounds exciting, it can actually prevent you from creating realistic expectations. Relevant: If a goal isn’t relevant to you, you will be less likely to pursue it. Choose goals that excite you to achieve. Time-bound: Timelines help you stay focused and on task without procrastination, a direct partner of burnout. An example of a SMART goal is to lose 10lbs within 3 months with consistent afternoon walks and weekly gym sessions. Your goal is relevant because you’re focused on your health right now. By setting a number goal and not just “lose weight,” you’re being specific and have something to measure. There’s also a manageable timeline to keep you on track and prevent you from spiraling, while being achievable without running yourself into the ground.
Before continuing to the next step, I want you to write out one goal and check to make sure it qualifies as a SMART goal. Break Goals Down into Clear Steps Now that you’ve got a specific and measurable goal that you know is achievable, it’s time to break that goal down into smaller action steps. Using our previous example, we talked about losing 10lbs in 3 months with consistent afternoon walks and a weekly gym session. You’re focusing on consistent exercise to achieve your goal of losing 10lbs. You have the how, the why and the what all laid out for you.
What comes next is taking action. It’s one thing to write a goal out and say “this is how I’m going to achieve success,” it’s another thing to actually go and do what’s necessary to hit your goal. I want you to take a step back and look at your weekly and daily calendars. If it makes sense for Tuesday to be your gym day, put it on the calendar. Pick the time you’re going each week and make it a non-negotiable part of your week. The same goes for adding walks into your week. Since Tuesday is the day you’ll be at the gym, start by planning to walk Thursday and Saturday after lunch. You can increase, decrease or move things around as you need but having a plan from the start is imperative to achieving your goals without burnout. Focus on Progress over Perfection If you’ve done the action steps from the first 2 parts of this blog, you’re now looking at a schedule and plan of action to achieve your next goal. But this next step is what ties everything together and is often where a lot of my patients run into a roadblock. When your goal is so clearly laid out and you’re following the plan but the results aren’t immediate. I want you to take a deep breath and look for signs of progress. Achieving a goal, personal or professional, rarely happens in a linear line. Day 1 to day 30 won’t be a straight line of perfection towards the finish line. Life happens to everyone. If you’re working towards weight loss but haven’t hit that final goal, look at how your body is changing in different ways or check how your energy levels are with the new movement routine. If you’re following the action steps you’ve put in place to achieve your goals, there will be some type of progress to check on your journey. But let’s say that things aren’t progressing like you’d like them to and that a month into your plan, you’re struggling to follow it. It’s okay to adjust your steps. If walking 3 times a week just isn’t possible, move it to 2. If that Tuesday morning gym slot is throwing your week off, move it. The action steps are there to support you in achieving your goals but they don’t need to be so rigid that they cause your failure. Now that you have the tools to achieve goals without burnout, I want you to congratulate yourself. Starting from a place of excitement as you embark on this journey will only do you a favor. If you’d like extra support with goal setting, check out my printable & digital-friendly Goal Setting Planner here. And if you enjoyed this blog, please take a moment to subscribe for more self-improvement tips.